What worked for me:
-He gave himself a voice as well as his aunt
-You could feel the emotions of everyone in the church. He made it clear that everyone was excited and happy for all the young children
-the structure of the paragraphs was very organized.
What didn't work for me:
-The dialogue was a little unbelievable. It wasn't as strong as it should be.
The story was very engaging. It was simply written but it was a powerful story. The way he described all the cheering made it believable as well as exciting. It was almost as if you could feel the emotions coming from the room. He didn't overdo it. He didn't use too many adjectives.
His purpose was to portray a picture of an event that was truly important to his family and the people of his town, and yet, he, a little kid, didn't see what the big deal was. He didn't quite seem to understand the significance of the priests and his aunt wanting him to go to Jesus. As a child, he didn't really know what to expect. He didn't know what it felt like to have Jesus; he wanted to see him.
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